Monday, March 30, 2015

Nothing Much to Say in Detroit.

An aptly-named vin.

I recently received 130 emails notifying me that my blog was being spammed by some spambot selling presumably fake and/or stolen Michael Kors purses. Or was it Michael Cores? Whatever the case, it brought my attention over and over again to this neglected blog. Each *ping* of an email received was another tap on the shoulder saying, "Hello. You have a blog. Why don't you write in it?"

But as is the case with most writer's block, the moment I feel as though I must post in my blog, my mind goes completely blank. Even once trivial thoughts and ideas begin to emerge, I immediately dismiss them as "not good enough" or "already posted as status updates on Facebook."


I bought these today. I'm putting them here now in order to add color.

I've been thinking I would post while I'm in Paris. I mean, if you can't come up with writing material in Paris, what the hell kind of lame excuse for a writer are you, anyway? I'll have nothing but time over the course of six days in the most wonderful city in the world. I'll bring my big camera and take real photographs. I'll post them artfully with witty quips about Parisians. It will be wonderful.


This is my cat Obi-Wan Kenobi. He used to be feral too.

But what can I post about Detroit? I've had three jobs in the past six months. After working in the same ad agency for seven years, I left. That was momentous enough. But then I left the new job after 12 weeks for a new, new job. All this newness and change has been quite exhausting. It hasn't left me with much energy or inspiration to write. Besides, I'm terrible at change. I've also been horribly homesick for agency life. It's like being in the creative department of an ad agency allows you to go completely feral and I've been trying to get domesticated at these new jobs. I want to drink beer at work and swear at my co-workers. I miss having remote controlled helicopters buzzing over my head. I miss rock bands and cappuccino machines. I miss all the beards and tattoos. My god, I even miss leggings as pants, if only to mock them with my work partner. So yes. I'm a little homesick and dealing with change and all of that leaves me creatively challenged.


These are paper cats. I made them. I'm not sure why either.

Paris. Paris is when I'll have something to write about that is interesting and beautiful. Profundity will pour out of me like a heavy cab and creativity will spread across my brain like fois gras. I'll sit where Hemingway and Fitzgerald once sat and fantasize about never coming back to the bourgeois Etats-Unis.

I'll write then. When I have those kind of thoughts. Readable thoughts. Dreamer's thoughts. Thoughts that will take you away from wherever it is you're sitting right now, reading this, wishing you were somewhere else.

Bisous.

XXOO.




28 comments:

  1. Well, I enjoy your posts even when you think you have nothing new or interesting to say. This was hilarious! Thanks!

    I hope you grow more comfy in the new gig or find a better fit in the near future, too.

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    Replies
    1. Oh I'm sure I'll get used to it. I already am!

      Thanks for commenting. I'd completely forgotten that I'd written this and scheduled it to post today!

      ;-)

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    2. Ha! I do that too!

      By the way, if you haven't been to Paris before, you might find it difficult to write because there is so much to do and see. Their public transportation is awesome. The men are too aggressive. Nutella crepes with coconut (and strawberries?) are amazing! Have a great time.

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    3. I have been before but your statement stands. It probably will be difficult to write. Maybe I'll just commit to some photo blogs. :-)

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  2. I love this post- and you paper cats, too! You gave me laugh, on a boring, un-Paris like day. Thanks!

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    Replies
    1. I'm glad this was actually entertaining.

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  3. Replies
    1. I liked "You paper cats." I imagined you saying it with a French accent.

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  4. my issues are lots and lots to talk about everyone in the world's toes to step on while doing so... so i remain mute... sigh. I love you. enjoy paris beautiful mamma!

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    1. There's ways to write around that ... pretend it's a neighbor or a stray cat, and then voila! blog post.

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  5. Now that I'm away from Paris I feel like FINALLY I CAN GET SOMETHING DONE. It's a distracting town. But inspiring. And for the love of God wear comfy shoes. And get Dr. Scholl's insoles.

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  6. I go there usually every year and usually with an enormous amount of will to write. Once there that is one of the least activities I want to do because, like the post above me says, it is a pretty distracting town. Much like NYC. Now, if you go to the catacombs, that will probably give you something to write about. Also, I've been missing your blog, so I'm glad you posted :)
    Have a nice trip!

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    Replies
    1. You know, that's a solid point. Maybe a more realistic expectation is to post some photo blogs, a photo with a few words. Sort of zen. Or haiku-ish. I feel more comfortable with this being a realistic goal. Thanks for the reminder. :-)

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    2. Oh definitely do that. You are pretty good with the snarkiness too, so if you don't have that much fodder for a blog post, certainly throw in a few pics with some smart ass comment. I've been reading your blog for ages,so I know you can come up with pretty snarky sshtuff! :)

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    3. I don't know if I can be snarky in Paris. I LOVE EET TOO MUCH!

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  7. 1Paris! You're so lucky. I hope you have a great time

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  8. Ugh! I apologize for the insane punctuation in my comment above.

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    1. I love insane punctuation! It makes you sound sort of internet savvy. Like +111111!!!!!

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  9. I miss your writing. I'm wearing leggings today at work. They are 3/4 length, to boot. You can mock me from afar!

    And Paris? I expect many pictures of food and booze. Have fun!

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    Replies
    1. But are you wearing a crop top? Answer me that, Ms Hausfrau.

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  11. The nice thing about paper cats is they don't need to be spayed.

    But they hardly ever crawl up into your lap and fall asleep, after first looking to you for approval with doleful cat-eyes, either.

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  12. I like how you use paper and real cats to distract yourself and your readers. :) I would totally read your blog even if it was just all cats, all the time. And I feel you on the job change stuff. I always think it takes me about a year to really get settled into new jobs. I hope Paris is wonderful and although I want to read amazing posts from you while you're there, I hope you're having way to much fun to even think about this blog.

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  13. What is worse, turning into an old cat lady or an old paper cat lady?

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