I'm at the BlogHer conference in Chicago. If you're not familiar with it, BlogHer is the largest blogging conference and it hosts 5,000 bloggers at what has become an annual event for the past nine years. I'm terrible at conferences. I'm a horrible networker. I'm not good at crowds. I have a strong compulsion to hide in my hotel room and eat Peanut M&Ms. In fact, I may be doing that right now.
However, I did wander over to the conference hall this morning to register, to take in the opening remarks and to attend a session or two. While registering, I received a bag with some free samples. In it, I found a bag with a bunch of strange plastic dishes in it. Much to my disappointment, they were not ten cat dishes for all the cat ladies in attendance.
Turns out it was a fit kit for Jockey-brand bras. The idea is great. You put the cup over your breast and figure out which of the ten cups is a perfect fit for you. Only there's one problem.
|Ten beautiful cups all in a row! Which one will fit you, Cinderella?|
Of the ten cups provided, even the smallest one, the humble #1-sized cup, is actually pretty large when you hold it up to a small-framed 5'10" lady like myself. See for yourself:
|This is me, holding the smallest cup. Houston: We have a problem.|
I swear to the titty gods that I'm not a completely flat-chested Sally. I usually wear an A or B cup, depending on my weight, my salt-intake and whether or not I'm ovulating. (RAWR.) I'm also not the teeniest tiniest person, either. I'm 5'10" (as I mentioned earlier) and clearly not a size 0 or a size 2. Okay, I might be a size 4 but I am not a freakishly tiny gnome-person is all I'm trying to say.
Meanwhile, the largest cup, the #10, is big enough to fit my big head. Are there really so many more #10s in the world than #-1s or #-2s? And what about the 11s, 12s and 13s of the world? I've never had a problem finding a bra that fit. I don't shop at Victoria's Secret because their bras are terrible and cone-shaped, but Nordstrom has no problem getting me into something that fits perfectly. And it's not a AA or a AAA or a My First Bra®.
So thanks but no thanks, Jockey. I'll stick with my lady fitters at the department store and skip the fit kit. Because apparently ten sizes do not fit all.
AND THANKS FOR GIVING ME A COMPLEX ABOUT MY SMALL BOOBS.
GEEZ, JOCKEY. IT'S LIKE MIDDLE SCHOOL ALL OVER AGAIN.