Monday, October 1, 2012

Writing Is Stupid.

Why is writing such a painful endeavor? Why do people do it? Why do I do it as both a profession and a hobby? Is it because I'm a masochist? But then sometimes we say we love writing. It's our greatest passion. So which one is it? Is it torture or sex?

It's a little bit of both, I suppose. There are moments when you get so lost in writing that it's like you've become one with your god. You've merged with the universe and there is no more "you." But those moments are more fleeting than the moments of you staring at the screen like the empty husk of the damned, wishing you'd chosen some other career or hobby. Anything. Play an instrument. Paint a picture. But pull words out of my ass? What was I thinking?

Anyway, this is just to say I'm procrastinating. I'm supposed to be writing something else entirely. See, look at that. I'm so far gone, I'm writing while procrastinating from writing.

Send help.


35 comments:

  1. This sounds like my last marriage. I often still find myself asking, "What was I thinking?"

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    1. OMG. Is my relationship with writing a bad relationship?

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  2. Hang in there, Mandy! You just wrote a great blog post while saying you have writers block - go find something else to do so you can get your other writing done.
    x

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  3. I think if you just begin with the random thoughts running through your mind, you may find yourself emmersed in something tangible. (Yeah, my spelling sucks!!!!!)

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    1. Stream of consciousness is such a guilty pleasure.

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  4. I often wish that I could paint, but then I spend hours on something that looks like glorified Day Care art and stick with writing.

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  5. Yup. The fact that I have to write for my job is irrelevant, as that's boring and just going through the motions with a dash of creativity thrown in to see what I can get away with.

    But writing for myself? Total anxiety at times. The words are all wrong or completely missing or sounded awesome in my head but somehow look like shit when I actually type them out. I suppose I do it to prove that I can at times, and also because I feel like I have to. It's my instrument, albeit a pain in the ass on most days (and stuffed in the corner to gather dust.)

    With that said, I'm procrastinating. Sigh...

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    1. That's probably it. It's the only thing I'm good at.

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  6. If only my posts could be what I see in my head, the images, the visual.

    I think that's what filmmakers strive for, work so hard to put up there: the images they see in their head.

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  7. I think the Empress nailed it. I'm searching for that cryogenic freezing deal--I want to wake up in some future world where I can just download stuff from my head, just plug in and voila! *sigh*

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    1. Me too. Downloading would be so much easier. Though I don't think in images or pictures. It's a narrator's voice in my head. I'd make for a lousy filmmaker.

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  8. It's true. We're masochists. Only on our case, we don't have to hide the rope burns under a turtleneck.

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  9. It's always reassuring to know even the great ones (you are a great writer Mandy) go through this. I'd write a longer comment, but I see something shiny.

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  10. We all hit the wall at some point. Which is entirely why I chose another career field. Having to do something vs. wanting to do it- makes doing it that much more difficult. Sometimes when we hit the wall though- we go SPLAT! Don't do that. It hurts too much. We need you here.

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    1. I think the only way I would go SPLAT is if I didn't do it at all.

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  11. I have missed your blogs. I get the mini fix of you on twitter.

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    1. That's a good description of Twitter.

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  12. Neither torture nor sex. It is a daemon unto itself. If you didn't need to, you wouldn't. But I'm glad you do for whatever it's worth.

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    1. I like that. A pesky little demon until itself. Gnawing at my brain.

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  13. Amen. Ugh. Getting in the writing zone is like the peaceful part of meditating for me - I never quite know how I get there and I'm always frustrated when I can't get back.

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  14. By the way, I like the shiny new smile. :)

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  15. Sometimes the words come. And sometimes they don't.

    And when they don't, it feels like they never will again.

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  16. I've been reading books by writers who talk about writing in their books. It's a vicious little circle. I should have become a professional walker.

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  17. I actually just giggled out loud at your last paragraph.

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