Thursday, July 7, 2011

The Camera That Loved Too Much

I was in a photo shoot today.

There were bright lights and a camera in my face. The flash kept flashing and the room full of people shouted, "The camera loves you!"

The director called out: "Strike your favorite dance pose" or "Pretend you're a mime trapped in a box" and "Flex your muscles!"

I won't lie. I loved it. I ate it up. I let go and went with the adrenaline rush. Everybody loved me in the hot glow of the lights. I was a superstar.

Then I walked out of the studio, into the cold dark hallway where I stood alone, wondering what the hell had just happened.

This could prove embarrassing.


  1. Is it too much to hope you'll post the pictures?!

  2. Oh my god!!! Please please please tell us you're going to post them! How fun!

  3. I hope the fame does not prove to be too much and you have to give it up a work in a coal mine.

  4. Not your first photo shoot, if I remember correctly! You're model material. :-)

  5. @Amelia: I have no idea if I'll ever get my hands on them or if they'll ever see the light of day.

    @Vapid Vixen: If I can get my hands on any of them, you know I will.

    @Trooper Thorn: You have inspired me to learn how to play "Coalminer's Daughter" on the mandolin.

    @Soobs: This may explain why my modeling career never went anywhere. I don't think there's much call for a Lady Zoolander.

  6. No green room or dressing room with specific colored M&M's?

  7. But what shoes were you wearing? This is a most important point you omitted! Well, regardless, I'm absolutely positive you looked gorgeous! :)

  8. Hold the phone! Didn't even think to ask what the shoot was for!??

  9. You were gorgeous, I'm sure.

    P.S. You're a tease- what in the world was the shoot for?

  10. @Wow: Hardly. I didn't even have hair and makeup people on hand.

    @Eva: Pointy-toed black pumps with a silver buckle on them. Not all that excitement but a classic.

    @Vapid Vixen: Nothing exciting I can assure you. It was for work.

    @See Kate Run: I was a goofball. More of the photo shoot is coming back to me in horrific flashbacks. This may require a part two.

  11. Will we get to see? Bet they are awesome!!

  12. The last line has a slew of scenarios running through my head. One involves nudity. Another, Windex. A third incorporates both.

  13. @That Janie Girl: If I get to see them and I can get a copy of them, you will see them too.

    @Kristine in the Van: There was no nudity, I was at work.

    @Kristine in the Van Pt. 2: I do not work in a brothel.

    @Kristine in the Van Pt. 3: I wish I had brought a bottle of Windex. It would have made a nice prop and I think it would have calmed me down so I would have acted more dignified. Will you be my manager from now on?

  14. Um...we need to see these pictures.

    Also, I hope you gave them a little Blue Steel at the end...

  15. Despite loving my camera dearly, it (sniff) does not (sniff) love me.

    No camera does. (sniff)

    I have to go now.

  16. I certainly hope the pictures do make the light of day. In your hands and on to the internet. I mean, blog.

  17. As long as you didn't have to get completely dressed after the shoot you'll probably be fine.

  18. I understand the trepidation. Your blog profile photo shows a beautiful woman. You had a baby not that long ago, you were having fun and everyone was encouraging you. So you ramped up the voguing to defcon 5. You're a writer, an introverted pursuit, so it makes a twisted sort of logic. Usually our demented moments go unrecorded by film. But yours was captured, multi-captured.

    But remember, no one notices our flaws like we do. Except trolls and mean people. If no flaws show up, you likely will invent some. So try not to fret. Too much.

  19. I had a boyfriend not long after high school who was in a gigging band and was once present for one of their photo shoots...

    Looking forward to the mime-in-a-box shot.


    p.s. Would you contact me at I LOVED your suggestion yesterday re: the bus field guide and would like to ask you about your (writing) work habits...

  20. I would either stand there and roll my eyes or collapse into a pile of giggles if a photographer ever told me I was a Mime in a box.
    Mine generally just looked deadly serious and said HOLD IT ! and I just waited for him to say BREAK..

  21. Ok, first of all, LUCKY! I would love to be in a photoshoot!
    Ans second of all, I just read the post at your other blog, and tried leaving a comment, but for some reason, if there is no NAME/URL setting, my computer keeps logging me out of here is the comment I attempted to leave there: I have a thought! As someone who is not religious or spiritual, I prefer not to see Jesus or Buddha. However, as someone who wishes she was spiritual or had some belief, you've made me see that the presence of these icons could lead to a desire to pursue a more indepth knowledge of their concepts. Excellent post!

  22. @Susan: Didn't mean to be! I don't have any photo evidence to show you, I swear.

    @Just Me: That's the thing. I think I gave them Blue Steel throughout the entire thing! Oh god...

    @La Piazza: But I bet it thinks you have a lovely personality?

    @PorkStar: We shall see. I'm sort of cringing at the possible outcomes.

    @Robert the Skeptic: Perspective is everything. Thank you.

    @Glimmer: It was Defcon 5 ... or 10. I'm not worried about flaws. I'm worried about my own over-the-top mugging and hamming for the camera. I'm incorrigible with the slightest encouragement. I haven't grown out of this yet, apparently.

    @Pearl: I was really into that box. P.S. You have been emailed.

    @a Broad: I am not a woman of subtlety. This does not bode well for me. *Laugh*

    @Sandra: What a lovely comment! Thanks for leaving it here so I could see it.

  23. lololololololol!!! nothing like being in the moment! at least you were game and you gave them all you could!!! bet the photos will be fab! i tend to look angry or scared in all photos, as i HATE having my picture taken!

  24. oh - hope we get to see these!

  25. Yes, you should post at LEAST one. Personally, I'd like the mime one for viewing for entertainment value.

  26. I don't want to be a gongoozler. "ha". ) Sounds like you had fun. That's great Mandy.

  27. i was a mime, twenty years ago.
    i still pray there are no photos.

  28. @drollgirl: I think I made the Blue Steel face during 90% of the shoot.

    @Michon: For the spectators in particular.

    @Sherri: It is out of our hands. *Waits to see*

    @Ad Astra: If I can get my hands on one, I will post it. I owe it to you.

    @The Last Santa: I'm going to have to google gongoozler.

    @Zanna: LAUGH! Oooh, those photos would be priceless.

  29. We're expecting pictures, please!! I am especially looking forward to the "mime in a box" pose;)

  30. Wow, all I'm ever told is "You owe me $200. The camera hates you."

  31. I was trying to mind a more creative word for lurker. Gongoozler came up )

  32. There's a whole art to modeling that I never really appreciated. I've never tried to do it, for sure, but just watching it on TV I can see that it's not nearly as easy as it looks. Models seem to know instinctively which pose plays best in photographs. Heck, anyone who's ever tried to take a picture for posting online KNOWS that what looks good in the mirror never looks as good in photographs. It's strange that way!

  33. @Consciously Sedated: I saw one photo and some video on our agency's Facebook page. Ugggggh. Mildly embarrassing.

    @Shanimals: That sounds sketchy.

    @The Last Santa: You're not a lurker.

    @Stephanie: It's definitely harder than it looks.