Friday, July 29, 2011

BlogHer Block

In a dazzling twist of fate, the fact that I'm going to my first blogging conference next week has caused me to have a monumental case of writer's block.

I'm excited to attend BlogHer '11 in San Diego. I'm looking forward to meeting many of the bloggers I read and new bloggers I've come to know in the past few weeks leading up to the event.

But now I don't have a damn thing to say about any of it.

Part of it may be nerves. In addition to being excited about the conference, I'm also nervous about my introversion flaring up. My husband was also shy in his youth. As a young adult, he decided that he didn't want to be an introvert so he decided to "fling himself out of it." He pushes himself out of his shell and forces himself to approach people and talk to them.

I, too, have tried to fling myself out of my shyness. I'm often successful. But I also retreat into silence when encountering large groups of people. Perhaps my introversion is seeping into my writing (or lack thereof) now?

Perhaps I can fling myself out of it by writing this?

When my sister got married, she was forced to take pre-marital counseling by the church where she was getting married. She learned that she and her husband had a fundamental difference: she was an introvert, he an extrovert.

One of the primary ways to figure out whether you're an introvert or an extrovert is by examining how you feel after spending time around people. Are you invigorated and charged up after a party? Or are you exhausted and need to crawl into your cocoon?

I'm definitely more of a social caterpillar. But I'd like to be a butterfly.


  1. Love this. I think I have wings but they're tiny.

  2. Recipe for being an Extrovert: 1 Cup of strong coffee, one vodka soda, some hot shoes.

    Instant life of the party.

  3. @Just Me: I'm going to write this recipe down and put it in my wallet.

    P.S. You know the shoes were already in my arsenal.

  4. I know what you mean about the fling. I have to do that too. And, I can only take so much of spending time around people, especially when I have to be "on." I agree with Just Me's recipe for success though! Add in a hot dress too. You know you'll rock it!

  5. @Eva: I'll rock it very quietly.

  6. I wish I could be there to meet you. I'm pretty sure we'd like each other. :hug:

    It's going to be OK.

    If nothing else, there will be plenty of coupons for free drinks, and that will probably help you shake out those wings.

  7. I'm an introvert, but I try to fake it till I can get enough booze in me to drown it out. Sometimes it works.

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  9. San Diego???? its happening here??? really?? *squeal* But I'm way to shy to say hello...drat.

  10. Can mine depend on the day?

    And relax, my dear friend...

  11. my cocoon is Ubber cozy. i think i'll stay here forever.

  12. Will there be pillow fights while you all are in your nighties?

  13. How fun! I have wanted to go to one of those conferences some time. Can't wait to hear about it. I am an ENFP, but as I get older, I find I'm more and more of an INFP. Maybe as you get older (you will be a few weeks older by the conference, right?) you will become more of an E.

  14. You're not shy, you're particular about the people you want in your personal space. This is the same reason you'd make a terrible hooker. I find that I'm 50/50 (we're off the hooker thing now; I'm not talking half and half): I'm not intimidated by power, status, etc. and in person strangers are entertained by me and apparently I give off a friendly vibe. I make friends with women in the bathrooms of bars, etc, and they give me their numbers and make me promise to call. But I seldom do. People feel closer to me than I do them. I don't like hugs and all that touchy feely stuff. There are few people I REALLY connect with - the rest are just destined to annoy me. Advice for you: just tell yourself you never have to see anyone again who is scary / unfortunate looking.

  15. there are shy extroverts and outgoing introverts... it took me a while to know that me being an introvert means simply that I'm more comfortable by myself than many extroverts. But that doesn't mean I can't mingle from time to time.

  16. I envy your husband for being able to will himself out of his "introversion".

    I am a lifer, but am fortunate to have people who have befriended me despite what has often been construed as arrogance and conceit.

    If they only knew...

  17. I call it a comfort zone. Bring your Windex so people will know who you are...

    Kick ass Mandy. You got this.

  18. I am one of those (annoying?) people who will talk even to the potted plants, so DM me or txt me and I'll go say hi. I'll even bring you a drink if it helps! :)

  19. I'm an introvert, too, but people don't often know because I pretend... like I'm in Make Believe Land and I'm the blogging super star that arrived to save the day... whether it's dinner, meetings or a conference.

    I'm gonna need a cape.

  20. "Introversion is a preference or a temperament, not a problem" (Val Nelson). I think your friends and readers love you just the way you are, Miss Mandy Fish. A therapist once told me, "Every thing that you think is your weakness is also simultaneously your greatest strength." That was some of the best, most healing advice I ever got. I also think that everything about you being an introvert is why you are so great at what you do. Furthermore, a few years ago I recall reading somewhere that introversion is not to be confused with shyness; you just like more time for personal reflection afterwards. So you may be plenty friendly after all. Go proud of exactly who you are, and rock your big old introvert self, my dear! (Then take some time to write, reflect, and unwind by yourself afterwards.) Have fun!

  21. P.S. You are plenty butterfly a-plenty. You're just an introverted butterfly. They are equally beautiful.

  22. @Susan in the Boonies: I like the sound of this shaking out wings business. Thank you.

    @Amelia: I think too much caffeine can work the same magic for me too.

    @Freddy San Diego: It's right in your backyard! You should come!

    @Michon: Yes. Time of day and whom you're with, perhaps?

    @Moo Goo: You crack me up.

    @Wow That Was Awkward: Yes. Yes there will be.

    @Sherri: Interesting! I'm an INFP but very close to the border of being an ENFP.

    @Blonde Steel: Can I make a t-shirt that reads: "I'm not shy. I'm particular."

    @Mobius: I am comfortable with my own thoughts, but an mingle on occasion. "Mingle" is such a funny word.

    @La Piazza: Yes, exactly. I think a lot of shy people are misconstrued as thinking they're too good to talk to you.

    @Nice Peace: I should wear a windex bottle t-shirt.

    @Of the sea: I wish you could bottle that sister. I'd be buying.

    @Janice: If you find one, send me one too. Maybe it'll transform me from Clark Kent to Superman.

    @Christina's World: I love your therapist's words and yours too. What a lovely, encouraging comment. Thank you!

  23. Introverts unite!!!! I've found it's rarely as bad as I'm expecting it be.

    Absolutely loved the comment from Christina's World.

  24. I thought all bloggers were just a bunch of introverts that found the blog format a less stressful way to socialize and a less intrusive way to be 'famous'?? Sadly most of us bloggers do fit that stereotype but at least it gives us common ground!

  25. I'm a strong introvert, too. On the plus side of conferences, conversations are easy to start because everyone is there through shared interests. But I always have to carve out time to just sit in my room (or go sightseeing) to recover my energy.

  26. Is this your first time going to Blogher? I'll be really curious to know what you think. I considered trying to go this year but I was a little hesitant after reading some accounts of (last year's?) Chicago conference. Hope you enjoy San Diego though!

  27. @Vapid Vix: She's a good egg.

    @Padded Cell: I suspected as much too. (Or hoped as much.)

    @Blissed Out: I'll need my down time fo' sho'.

    @Mel Heth: Yep, it's my first time. I seem to have been joyfully connected to a number of down-to-earth blog friends to hang out with once I'm there. I'm very fortunate.

  28. I was an extreme introvert when I was younger but as I get older and am forced to get out there and pretend that I'm totally cool with social situations, the easier it gets. Not to say it's easy, but it is getting easier.
    Also, lots of alcohol helps.