I swear to the shoe gods I tried to wear ballet flats. I've been wearing them for a few weeks now. But a shoe addict can only go for so long without a fix. I swear it'll just be this once. Or maybe just a Friday treat? Once a week, I swear it.
Oh dear. I sound like I have a problem.
The good news is that my seven-year-old son did not make any comments or cast any disapproving looks at my shoes this morning. Maybe they work with the ankle-length skinny jeans in a way they did not work with full-length skinny jeans? That's my theory and I'm sticking to it.
(I'm disregarding the theory that he was up late playing hockey and was too tired to notice.)
I had another brilliant idea this morning as I walked into work. We have two dedicated spots for pregnant ladies. I think I'm more disabled walking in these shoes (I'll admit, they're a little high, even for me, at least for an entire work day) than I was when I was pregnant.
I think we should have two dedicated stiletto parking spots.
My ad agency does all sorts of special parking. We used to have special logos for you to park in if you drove a certain kind of car. We have a dedicated spot if you do something phenomenal. We have dedicated spots for certain executives, spots for visitors, spots for the handicapped...you see where I'm going with this.
What's two more spots for the heroes of fierce shoes?
Maybe if I suggest putting two spots for clogs way in the back, you'll get on board?
A few observations on my feet:
a. That's a heel pad so the shoes don't slip off. It is not a band-aid because these shoes are torturing me.
b. Those are my hammer toes. I've always had them. And yes, when I say "Hammer Toe" I do in fact sing it to the tune of "Hammer Time!" and then I do a little sideways crab jig. (But not in these shoes. I'm not a circus freak.)
c. If I knew how to Photoshop out those freaky foot bones, blue veins and wrinkles, I would. I'm sorry to subject you to the horror that is my feet. And seriously? Have you ever tried to take an attractive self-portrait of your feet? As it is, I had to take this picture upside-down and reverse it once I got into photo-editing. I have no skill for foot photography so please stop sending me those job offers for the hammer toe fetish site. It's not gonna happen. I don't care how much you offer me.
Wait. I might do it for a premium parking spot.