Wednesday, February 25, 2009

Boys Who Love Boys

"Boys can't kiss boys!" my son shouted, turning away from the television to laugh with me.

"Sure they can," I said.

"They CAN?" he said, and scrunched up his face to show his amused disgust, a practiced look I'd seen on one of the more inbred boys in his class. 

"You kiss your dad, don't you?"


"And your dad kisses and hugs your Papa, doesn't he?"


"So there you go," I said and shrugged. "Boys can kiss boys."

"But boys can't get married, can they?" he repeated the exaggerated disgusted face from the oaf at school.

"Sure they can," I said, immediately deciding that I wasn't going to get into a discussion of the law with a five-year-old.

"They CAN?" he looked surprised and watched my face to see if I was serious.

"Sure why not? If you love someone you can marry them," I shrugged again.

"And can girls marry girls?" Now his eyebrows were raised and he wasn't making the stupid Deliverance face.


"Oh. I didn't know that," he said, and went back to playing with his superheros clad in tights. "I'd like to go to a wedding."

"Me too. We could get you a suit."

"I'd look handsome in a suit."

"Yes, you would," I said, and closed the conversation that could have turned my son into a homophobe but didn't. For today.

Uncle Stephen is coming over tonight. He has a new boyfriend about whom he is all a-flutter. I accused him of acting like a lesbian because you'd swear these two were ready to move in after their second date. He sends me giddy little love text messages that make me smile and feel as though the world isn't about to collapse.

"I think I'm pregnant," he texted me this weekend.

I know he was kidding, but I'll have to talk with him about the importance of getting married first. Besides, Cracky and I want to go to the wedding.


  1. On a purely scientific note - I'm pretty sure you didn't gay him up. The non-deliverance face at the mere thought of girl on girl action is a dead give away (and he loves him some girl bellies).

  2. I'm not concerned about his sexual orientation either way. I'm only concerned about his treating whomever he loves with kindness and compassion.

    And hey! The "Deliverance" face was an insult to the daycare kid. It was not a lascivious face! I must have written it wrong.

  3. I've always though homophobia is the most useless prejudice. What the hell have gay people ever done to anyone (besides give out free make overs)?

    The thing is though, I think at that age, kids don't really even know what gay means. In the words of Greg Giraldo "All we knew was that he ran funny when you threw dead shit at him."

  4. I have done my best not to act like boys marrying boys is a big deal. My daughter is not phased in the slightest by the notion. The Boy, however, finds it giggle-worthy.

  5. That was handled beautifully.
    Why should any of us care who (whom?) anyone else chooses to love? Isn't love is always better than hate?

    "I'd look good in a suit".
    Gotta love that!!

  6. I love how you keep Cracky's mind open. To each his/her own I say. I mean if your comfortable with your sexuality then why should it matter? I have a few friends that are gay and I've never had a problem with who I am around them nor have they.

    Captain Charles

  7. Cracky is lucky to have a mother like you!

  8. I like the sly way you worked superhero in tights into this one.

  9. Well played. He's going to be quite the little gentleman with you as a mamma.

    Sadly most weddings are childless zones. Little people look great in fancy stuff.


  10. My seven year old's best friend has two moms, and it was so cool how my son just accepted this from a very early age. More people should take lessons from children.

  11. i love it when Mom's give children the okay to believe anything is possible! With upbringing like that the laws WILL eventually change because it will be okay to accept people's differences instead of fearing and legislating them. *hugs* for you!

  12. well done, you and your son seem to have a wonderful and fun relationship and I'll bet he will look handsome.

  13. Whats a bodhisattva?

  14. Boys kissing boys is hot. :)

  15. A bodhisattva is a someone who already has attained a certain degree of enlightenment and seeks to use their wisdom to help others become liberated themselves. The Bodhisattva is an already wise person who uses skillful means to lead others to see the benefits of virtue and the cultivation of wisdom.

    --paraphrased from wikipedia for your pleasure

  16. He's so funny- I love the conversations you two have:)

    This is a good one! I think when the grown ups handle it cooly, the kids are bound to follow. ~OM

  17. You two make me laugh so much. :D

    Smalls x

  18. This reminded me of that episode when i innocently took a pretty book for the kids at the library.

    I liked the drawings, the colors and I thought that the kids would enjoy it ... and then ... I had to go through a Looooot of explanations. The story was about a little boy who had 2 mommies.

    I love Cracky's sensitivity.

  19. I've been preggers for a while now *rubs tummy* but I have no idea who the mother is. I'm such a slut. *hangs head in shame*

    Oh,look! Twinkies! nom nom nom.

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  21. What's the deal with Cracky and weddings, lately?

  22. I like your parenting style. It mirrors mine in many ways. My son will be entering kindergarten in the fall. There, I know he will learn how to read, write, and do arithmetic. In my home, I know that he will be taught to love everyone around him, regardless of "what" they are, but for WHO they are.

    *applauds you*

    I also LOVE what Ren said in their comment!

  23. Us gays love smart women....

    Thx for raising your boy the way all children should be raised - smartly :-)


  24. (aka Slinky)

    One of my kids recently decided she'd rather have two moms than a mom and a dad.

    This, of course, may pose a problem for her father - and the fact that I'm straight may also be a minor roadblock.

  25. I wish adults would pay more attention to our kids' attitudes and learn from them. Those beautiful minds shouldn't ever have to turn ugly even in the slightest.

  26. Brilliant handling of a perfect spontaneous teachable moment. Kudos to you!

    Now send him over to school-oaf's place and teach that kid a thing or two.

  27. Cracky wants you to get married. That'd solve everything ;)

  28. I went to a wedding todaaaaay!!!!

    I love your tag, lmao. "The Gays"

  29. There is beauty in the way you parent, teaching him love.

    I love it. I agree with it. I parent similarly.

    And I love the Crackey conversations. Especially now that my kids are 11 and 15 and Mom is suddenly stupider than TWO sacks of hammers.

  30. I love the way you explain things to him. This blog was a beautiful light in my day. Really. :D


  31. "superheros clad in tights" had me choke on my licorice.

    Craky is going to grow up to be an aware and compassionate man...because of his mama.


  32. I love how the Crackster is so open. My younger one is the same. They have to be taught to focus on the differences because kids just don't...and if they never learn it's a beautiful thing.

  33. I'm still trying to explain to mine why you can't marry your mom.

    I think it's funny that at a young age, boys are more accepting of girl on girl than boy on boy, at least judging by his facial expressions.

  34. And if I could just finish my thought - that facial expression doesn't change when they get older either.

  35. If only more parents would teach their children to be accepting of people. *sigh*
    Good job. Mama!

  36. "The Gays" as a label.



  37. Hahahahaha! Excellent!

    When I was about 10 I remember my father telling me about how wrong it was to be homosexual and how it could never be considered acceptable.

    "Imagine a man and woman coming into your school and talking about marriage and then they'd have to bring in two men and two women to talk about their...whatever...too?", he asked in disgust, shaking his head.

    I remember agreeing with him at the seemed overwhelming...

    Now I think...why the hell NOT? They should know about relationships no matter what forms they take. That's exactly how I've raised mine.

    My theory is that those conservative types who believe that homosexuality is some sort of depraved choice that goes against God are actually themselves bi or homosexual who actually CHOOSE to be straight! They evidently felt they had to make that choice and are completely bitter about it which is why they are so angry...

    Afterall, I don't remember "making a choice" to be straight. I just am.

  38. This is awesome. It warms my heart to think that maybe the next generation will be more open-minded than those who can vote now. As a California resident, I was heartbroken and disgusted that we voted to remove the rights of "two boys" to marry. I hope you catch the bouquet at Uncle Stephen's wedding.

  39. Good work Mama. Fight the power.

    Yeah, "Deliverance" was not exactly the best model for guy-on-guy action. Certainly love had little to do with it. Poor Ned Beatty. But the backwoods fellas were a pretty apt metaphor for larger cultural attitudes that have sadly not changed very much. Any lust for men ("You got a real purty mouth" etc.) could be voiced only with an accompanying denial in the form of an annihilating violence. Gee, that sounded like part of a term paper for a gender studies class. Sorry. Didn't mean to be a downer. Shall I squeal like a pig for you? Kidding. Or am I? Yeah, I am.

    Kevin (Sentinel/Ventricle)

  40. Your prose makes me smile and sets my mind in motion. I love you for that! Thank you.

  41. What a great story. I was a little nervous as I started reading the post. Being gay myself I see hate all around. It's unfortunate, but the reality is that I more surprised by a positive story like this one than a homophobic, ignorant rant that seems to be the norm. I truly hope the times they are a changin'.
    Great feedback from the other readers as well.