Monday, June 2, 2008

A Warning.


The dead body is still there.

I know, I know. I should clean it up. What kind of a person leaves the remains of a giant centipede sqaushed onto the trim along the floor? Every time I walk down the hall I stare at it. Its legs are still splayed this way and that, frozen in their final caress.

Ew.

As soon as my son notices it, I'm going to have to get the Windex and scrub it off. It's just that the very thought of touching it, even through several layers of paper towel, gives me the heebiest of jeebies.

Maybe I can leave it there as a warning to other centipedes?

In the middle ages they used to flay thieves, and nail their skins to the doors as warnings.

That's right.

I said it.

I'm going medieval on those furry fuckers.

Consider yourselves warned.

19 comments:

  1. Leave it there long enough and it will become so hard you can just step on it and it will turn to dust.

    P.S. Yuck

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  2. You are now legendary in centipede circles. They talk about you as they smoke the hookah.

    "Duuude! You shoulda seen her!!"

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  3. Centipedes from hell. Love your labels!! They say it's best to keep tabs on your enemies. Isn't cleaning up bug juice a primary function of the boyfriend?

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  4. SLIB - Selfish and Lazy In Bug-Squashing.

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  5. These are all phenomenal suggestions. I thought the comment about the boyfriend cleaning it up was quite brilliant.

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  6. Windex is a very powerful tool. I use Hertel on spiders. Live spiders. I know, it's mean.

    Ewww!

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  7. *GAG* *HEEEEEEEEEAVE*

    I'm okay now... Ahem. Yeah, I think you need to get the man on that. Or maybe some gloves? I find that gloves make me brave. I wish they made longer ones, like up to the shoulder. Maybe I need a whole Hazmat suit? ~OM

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  8. I want to know if a centipede really has one hundred legs. Get a magnifying glass and count them, please.

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  9. You could cover it with chocolate and pretend it is delicacy?

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  10. I can't imagine you flaying the centipede if you're all heebie jeebie about even getting near it. That takes some intimate carving, hon! Best to put on a pair of shoes you care less about, wrap a paper towel around the tip, and shove it into an envelope or something.

    I pity the next one that comes around though! ;-)

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  11. LMAO!!! I just wanted to warn you though, there are dead bugs all over my basement. They don't seem to be phased by it. In fact, some bugs (ants, most notably) will actually eat other dead bugs.

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  12. Maybe you could train Cracky to be the perfect boyfriend of the future and get him to clean it up. With Windex and several layers of tissue, of course.

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  13. Is it possible that centipedes are jumping from your screen through mine? I have had two centipedes in less than a week. Never had any in the past. First one in bathroom sink I washed down the drain. Second one was on my kitchen floor and I stepped on it. Will worry about the carass later.
    Ms. Glenna

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  14. Flaying reminds me of that Buffy ep where bad Willow flays Warren after Tara is killed.

    Yay medieval!

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